I Know I Am, But What Are You? Audiobook (Free)

Candid, outspoken, laugh-out-loud funny essays from much-loved Samantha Bee, host of TBS’s uproarious late-night present Total Frontal with Samantha Bee, executive producer and writer of TBS’s comedy tv series The Detour, and former The Daily Display with Jon Stewart’s Most Senior Correspondent.

In I Know I Am, But What Are You? she stocks her exclusive and irreverent viewpoint on topics as wide-ranging as:

BARBIE’S DREAM HOUSE

There were six primary players in my coterie: G.I. Joe (macho, about I Know I Am, But What Are You? good-looking), Wonder Girl (scorching, carpet-munching neighbor, occupied with athletics), Marie Osmond (career gal, clever), Ken (gay, certainly), regular Barbie (slutty, dumb, eternally solitary), and an old-timey Barbie through the sixties (smoker’s coughing, swinger).

HER Youth CRUSH

I had developed a notebook dedicated to ironing out the facts of my postmarital name transformation. Samantha Christ. Mrs. Jesus H. Christ. Actually, Jesus and I were so tight that if at at any time He should materialize, I understood we would listen to my disco information and eat Tang direct from the bundle, just like fans did.

GYM CLASS

My grandmother would send out me inside a navy-blue, puffy-sleeved, one-piece cashmere sweat suit using a patent-leather belt, and warn me never to perspiration in it, because it was dry-clean only.

FAMILY TIES

There’s really nothing at all creepier than going somewhere with one of your parents and having people believe you are jointly, as a few. Of fans. Who do it. With each other.