Carpe Jugulum: (Discworld Novel 23) Audiobook (Free)

Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to become priest.

He thought he’d come towards the mountain kingdom of Lancre for a straightforward little religious ceremony. Now he’s caught up in a battle between vampires and witches, and he’s not sure there’s a right side.

There’s the witches – youthful Agnes who’s really in two minds about everything, Magrat, who’s trying to combine witchcraft and nappies, Nanny Ogg who is far too knowing … and Granny Weatherwax, who is big trouble.

As well as the vampires are intelligent – not easily eliminated with a garlic enema or likely to the windowpane, grasping the curtains and stating ‘I have no idea about you, but isn’t it a bit stuffy in here?’ They’ve got design and fancy waistcoats. They’re from the casket and want a bite of the future.

Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he previously an axe.