Demonic and Deserted Audiobook (Free)

Great girls wear white. Bad girls put on white anyway.

We’ve all heard about wedding day disasters, like when a jealous ex-lover crashes the wedding ceremony and causes a scene or the professional photographer cancels in the last minute.

Now let me tell you about my wedding ceremony day-the day thousands of demonic spiders chased my fiance and me from the elevator and in to the Devil’s den. And don’t get me began on hellacious honeymoons. I spent the night time shaking horny Monkey Hitler off my knee.

Rather than sipping margaritas on the sunny beach with a rock in my finger and the man of my dreams beside me, I’m demonic and deserted, trapped inside Hell’s Hotel using a bad case of fleas, praying our sadistic host doesn’t throw us out.

To say my wedding day was a tragedy would have to be the understatement of the millennium. I simply hope our friends can save us before it’s as well late, because that squirming matter on my fork definitely doesn’t flavor like chicken, and I forgot to pack my SPF 10,000 sunblock.

Contains mature themes.